Watch your drinks

I had another blog lined up to post this week, but a lot has happened since then so I apologise but I really feel that I need to say this.

When we see things happening in the news, it's very easy to assume that the horrible things that they talk about will never happen to you. It's a naive way of looking at life and yet we all do it. I know because until very recently I did the same thing. My closest friend was spiked in a club a few days back. To see something like that happen to someone you love is frightening. You never think it'll happen to them or you, you just assume that because you're all together that nothing could go wrong. You don't realise that actually people are always in danger of this, not matter how careful they are. You certainly don't expect to feel the way I do now four days later. Right now, I'm struggling to eat and when I try to sleep I remember that night and I wake up terrified and can't sleep any more, I don't know why it's hit me so hard. I don't know if it's because of who it was that got spiked,  the fact that I couldn't do anything about it, or the fact that I remember everything that was said and remember feeling that I couldn't give any real reassurance. It's more than likely a combination of all of these things. What it's made me realise though is what's really important to me, it highlighted just how much I care about my friends and the lengths I would go to to keep them safe. Things like this really do happen.

I can handle difficult situations at the best of times, but when it hit me that actually this could have killed them I found it hard to keep myself together. I went into shock and started to panic and I genuinely started to think the worst as the night went on. I also started to think that it could have happened to me which is terrifying, after all when a girl is spiked it's usually for one reason. It was a scary experience, things were said that I wish I couldn't remember and someone was hurting and I couldn't take that pain away. Yes, I was lucky enough to not be the person that was spiked, but it could just as easily have happened to me or anyone. So if you are reading this PLEASE for the sake of your own safety and for the sanity of people like me, Don't leave drinks unattended. Don't let anyone give you a drink. Go nowhere without someone you know all the time. Be careful and try to drink responsibly. I don't want to see this happen again to someone I know, especially not someone I care about as much as I do for my friend.

Just to clarify, this happened to a male friend. Yes, guys get spiked too.

Know what you're talking about before you speak.

This has to be one of the few things that really frustrates me. People that feel it is alright to have an opinion on something they know absolutely nothing about. In all honestly, this was something I used to do a lot, about games or films or music just so I could keep up with the 'in' crowd at school which doesn't annoy me so much. What does though, is when people have an opinion on medical problems that they don't understand and they can often say some hurtful things.

Someone said a couple of days ago that "Depression is the way you choose to look at things, you could choose to be happy if you wanted to'. Clearly, this person (whose name I wont mention) knows nothing about Depression yet somehow feels that it's okay to have this opinion. I don't know whether they just fabricated their own idea of what depression is, but this is completely untrue. People don't choose to be happy or sad any more than they can choose who they love. You cannot force yourself to be happy and more than the people around you can. Why would anyone in their right mind choose to be unhappy? Even if you don't know anything about the topic itself, common sense should tell you that much.

This person also went on to say 'You just have to think positively to deal with it'. Now this confirms to me that they really don't fully understand this problem. Happy thoughts aren't a cure for depression any more than a kitkat could cure cancer. Sure, it might make you feel a little better, but in the long term it isn't enough to fix the problem. Picture for me a scale, with books on one side representing all the negativity you may be feeling. On the other end a feather, representing all the happy thoughts you have. The good that happy thoughts can do are minute in comparison to the amount of negativity a person can feel. Not only that, but to try and think so positively all the time is exhausting. Depression is caused by a lack of the chemical Seratonin, it isn't something we can turn on and off. People with depression do know how to be happy, they are able to laugh and joke, it's the times when they can't do that where it becomes an issue.

Someone else genuinely asked "Why are people depressed for?", to me it's suggesting again that people have the choice to be depressed. We can all be happy, sad, confused etc. for no reason. Why does it become a choice with depression? The same person also seemed to believe that "People our age don't get depressed". It was at this point that I lost all faith in younger people and face-palmed so hard my face can still feel it. Naturally, I then tried to think of reasonable explanations for it. Maybe this person was just completely unaware of depression as a illness, maybe he just didn't want to talk about how he actually felt, maybe he was just acting up in front of his friends. I wanted to know what real access to information about depression this person had had, I then found out one of their parents was a GP. Yes, one of his parents actually is a doctor, and still this person seemed to know nothing. They were so naive that they actually said "suicidal people are stupid." I don't even think I need to discuss that one. I just feel bad that young people are not fully educated about things like mental illness, to the point where they don't even acknowledge they exist. I'm not angry at this person, I'm just sad that they haven't got the information to make a proper assessment.

All I can say now is this. If you want to have an opinion on a medical issue, read up on it first. Make sure you know what you're talking about. If you don't you could say things that seriously offend people and in turn make you look like a horrible person. You could become that person that just doesn't get it, and who is going to want to ask you for help if they're suffering?

Value

To start with, I'll apologise for being terrible at this lately! I've had a fair bit of work to do and obviously had to get my priorities sorted before blogging! This is a shorter blog but I hope to have another one up by sunday!

This time, I want to talk about value. What do we value the most? Is it materialistic things? People? Ourselves? I ask this because lately I've struggled to remember what really matters most. After a lot of thinking, I've come to this conclusion. As much I want to say that my own happiness and my own well being is my priority, I can't say that. Because I don't care about what happens to me so much. As for gadgets and clothes and money, I could live without them even though to have them is great. What I value most of all is the people around me. I wouldn't be the person I am today without the influence of every person in my life right now. My boyfriend, my best friends, my parents, my sister, all the people I consider to be as close as family. They are the thing I value most in this world.

A lot of people say that I should focus on myself and that nobody else's needs should come before that. To that I say, you're wrong. To help other people and to make sure that those people are happy is what drives me to not give up with everything I have achieved. They are what makes me happy. My needs are secondary to this. If someone is feeling down, I'm there. I don't need anyone to be there in return, that isn't why I do it. I do it because I want to. Maybe I should care more about myself, but I don't. Think of that what you will but  know this, if you need me, I'm a message a phone call or in some cases, a door away. I'd be there for you like a shot.

Short blog I know but for anyone that reads this, I wanted to pose the question to you. What do you value most in life?