I'm really sorry for sucking with blogs lately to anyone that does actually read them, I've been working through some personal issues and haven't really had the time to think about anything other than how I'm going to get by. I'm back now though, things have improved somewhat and I finally feel like I can get myself back on track again.
This time I want to talk about judgement. People are so quick to judge others, even if they have absolutely no idea who that person is. Example? Today I was walking through town and I saw three pretty young girls walk past me, I heard one of them mention the scarring on my arm and then heard another say "dirty tramp". I didn't even know them and I'm not going to lie, it hurt. Yes, I have scars. Normally I would do my best to hide them, but it was a warm day and I felt like wearing a sleeveless top. Why should I have to hide my body for fear of getting judged by others? I don't want to walk around in jumpers for the rest of my life. Now I understand that it might be hard for people to understand why I have the scars, but that is no reason for them to call me names and say hurtful things.
My scars are a constant reminder of a part of my life where I felt really low. I don't particularly like having them there, I regret that they happened. But I'm not ashamed of them, because I'm not ashamed to say that yeah, I felt low. It's not a crime to feel sad, is it? It took a long time for me to feel secure and happy enough to wear the clothes that I liked, even now I still have days where I look in the mirror and feel repulsed by what I see, but those days are becoming less frequent now.
Since coming to uni I don't think I've actually had anything horrible said about me like that, so it kind of came as a shock. I was getting used to feeling comfortable about my body and getting to a point where I didn't mind wearing figure hugging clothes again, or maybe getting my arms and legs out. It felt like a kick to the gut. But, seeing as I'd recieved similar comments the rest of my life, I just took it on the chin, held my head high and told myself that they didn't know me and that they were stupid naive little kids.
I don't particularly care about it, but it made me realise that so many people must go through it. So many people cover up their bodies because they are scared of what people will say and think of them and to them I say this, you are beautiful. Don't cover yourself up, don't be ashamed of the choices that you made. You shouldn't be ashamed that you felt depressed or alone. Nobody reserves the right to judge you on it, if people don't understand or don't like the way that you look, fuck them. It's your life, it's your body. Love yourself for who you are not who anybody tells you to be.
People who don't follow the latest fashion trends or don't style their hair every day, or wear clashing colours or the same pair of trainers over and over again are still people. If that is how they choose to dress and live their life then the shouldn't be judged. If men choose to wear "female" clothes or vice versa, they shouldn't be judged. If someone wants to dye their hair bright blue and run around wearing gold lamé trousers then we shouldnt judge them. If we were more accepting of the things that make people happy, the world would be a much better place.
