Keep a tidy room
My room is my sanctuary, It's my work space, the place where I like to relax, the place where every personal thing about me is kept. I spend 90% of my time in my room so it's important to try and keep it relatively clean and tidy. Suffering from depression can often make you feel like you haven't got control over a lot of the things in your life, for me having a clean room makes me feel like something is in order and that can often mean the difference between a good day and a bad day. Having a clear desk where I can sit and work rather than laying down on my bed means I'll also probably be more productive with my day rather than just browsing the internet for hours and that's something else that makes me feel good. Don't underestimate the power of a clean room!
Write things down
I find that when I'm feeling really low, it's good to get my feelings and thoughts down on a page. It doesn't really matter how you go about it, it can be random words, poetry, a diary, anything you like. I prefer to write letters. When I was young I started to write letters to a person I made up, I liked that there was someone I could 'talk' to that wouldn't judge me or comment on what I was saying. I like that I can just write whatever I want and once it's off my chest I feel a lot better for it. Often some of the inspiration for my creative writing comes from ideas I've jotted down about how I was feeling which in away is turning negative into something positive! It's 100% something I will continue to recommend to anyone who asks for advice,
Talk to people
I've learned the hard way that one of the worst things you can do when you're feeling low is cut yourself off from people. At the time it might feel like the best thing, you might think that you're a burden to other people or that other people can't be trusted. I tried very hard to push people away from me so that they wouldn't have to deal with me and my problems. You might not even realise that you're distancing yourself! I can't stress enough how important it is that you talk to other people. It doesn't have to be a huge group of people, it can be one friend that you occasionally chat to or meet for coffee. Have a person that you know you can talk to should you need to. I still find it hard to trust people with certain things but I'm learning that by trusting other people with this, you don't have to cope with things on your own and your feelings aren't so overwhelming. There are also websites like 7cupsoftea.com which allow you to talk to complete strangers about how you are feeling which might help if you're looking for a complete outsiders perspective!
Breathe deeply and count
This might sound a little silly, but it really helps me. Recently I had a day where every possible thing that could have gone wrong happened and at multiple points all I wanted to do was panic or burst into tears. Instead, I took a really deep breath and let it out slowly, counting in my head as I did so and repeating as necessary. Doing this helped me keep relatively calm all day and even though the things that were happening were bad, my reaction was certainly a lot better that it would have been had I not taken a moment to breathe. Having a history of self harm has taught me that being able to stay calm in situations where your initial reaction is to panic helps you make more rational decisions. Instead of reaching for a short term fix, keeping as calm as possible helps me think about a long term solution.
Get some fresh air
There is something about fresh air and natural light that makes everything feel a little better. Even if it's just opening the curtains and cracking the window open. If you've been hiding away in your room for a while it can really make a difference. Getting rid of any musty room smells and breathing deeply will do wonders, going out for a walk can really help too. Exercise releases endorphins which are a natural stress fighter so it can make you feel better! A ten minute walk can make you feel better for a couple of hours, it really helps! It might sound really daunting at first, especially if you don't like being outside around people, the idea is to start small. A 10 minute walk around the block can soon become an hour walking through the park. Baby steps are okay!
Challenge your own negativity
This is something I still find difficult, especially when things seem really bleak. The idea is to try and change the way that you think about yourself and about life in general and for a person who is depressed this is really hard. I've found that the first thing to do is to allow myself to be imperfect, to accept that those imperfections are okay. I tend to make unrealistic goals for myself and then when I can't achieve them I beat myself up about it and stress about it a lot because I can't do it or I've messed it up. I'm slowly realising that it's okay that I'm not achieving all of the big things right now, instead I look at all the little things I have achieved for myself and I allow myself to be proud and happy for those.Nobody is perfect, so try not to hold yourself to such high standards. People make mistakes! Don't feel like you should or should not be a certain way and then get frustrated at yourself for not meeting your own standards. Try and avoid labelling yourself based on mistakes that you make, You're not a failure just because you did something out of the ordinary!
It can be really easy to diminish the positive when you suffer from depression. If something good happens, I often think about reasons why a good thing can't possibly be happening. If I'm praised at work for example, my intitial reaction isn't 'This is great someone appreciates me!' it's more like 'I think they're joking' or 'They're just being nice'. I'm trying really hard to have more self belief and think more positively about situations, For example, if someone looks like they're enjoying my company, then I like to think that it's because I'm good company, not just because they're being polite.
Eat properly
I am still completely guilty of not doing this all the time. I often have little or no appetite or I'm absolutely starving and I want to eat everything in sight, however when I do force myself to eat at regular times I honestly feel a lot better for it. Finding the motivation to do so is difficult, but making sure you're getting vitamins and minerals in your diet makes you feel a lot better. Try and avoid skipping meals too (guilty again!) Regular eating habits can also make you feel like your in control of your life and that feeling is important when you're trying to get your life back on track.
Offer to help someone
Personally, I find that helping other people makes me feel better, it's part of the reason I write these posts! The idea that I'm doing something positive, even just lending an ear when someone needs to rant, makes me feel good. The idea that I've contributed to someone else's life in a positive way is an amazing feeling and in doing that you build trusting relationships with other people. If people feel like they can trust me, they tend to be there if I need them as well and that's really important!
Of course these are just a few of many things you can do to help yourself. I'm not by any means suggesting that you should attempt to fix it all on your own, I also had help from councillors and medication to help me start to feel better. These are just little things that help me on the road to recovery. As always, feel free to message me if you want someone to talk to about anything that I've talked about and if you have a suggestion for a post or something that you would like me to cover in more detail then please let me know!!
