Drunkeness

At the moment, nights out are becoming more attractive. The idea of actually dealing with all the work and problems and everything that's on my mind is daunting. It's become easier for me to just drink them away for the night and forget that they exist. Unfortunately, I can't seem to get rid of these feelings without making a total prat of myself in the process.

I never intend to drink so much in the beginning, does anyone? But pre-drinking 2 ciders and 4 shots on an empty stomach is never the way to go. So we get to the club at midnight and have another 2 vodka and cokes because they're only £2 each and my friends owe me drinks. By this point my vision is blurred and there is what I think might be a really attractive guy giving me the eye.Sleaze. I collapse on to the sofa in a fit of giggles as a couple of my friends are taking selfies of their best sexy faces. I neck my drink because I think it might stop me thinking about the presentation I have to give tomorrow and the assignment that I need to hand in at 10am. For a little while, I'm having a great time.

The club rooms open and we all squeal and jump up tottering towards the sound of David Guetta, or it might have been Nicki Minaj I couldn't care less, I just want to dance. The room is smoky and I can't see properly, the dancefloor lights up 70s style and me and the girls are dancing in our own little circle. Various sleazy men try and dance with us, I keep an eye on everyone and I'm fully prepared to take a swing at somebody if they try anything with my friends. 

More shots and WKDs later somewhere around 2.30am I start to feel nauseous and I can barely stand up. I wander over to one of the couches and collapse onto it breathing heavily and I'm disorientated by the bright lights and heavy bass. It's at that point that it hits me, what am I doing here? I don't particularly want to be here, I shouldn't have come out. It was fun at the start, it always is. But then the reasons that you were drinking come in to play and you find yourself feeling worse if you were doing it for the wrong reasons anyway.

I'll never learn.

Ways of dealing with illness

So for the first time in over a year now, i'm ill. I must admit, I'd forgotten what it felt like as well as how to deal with it. I've only got a cold granted, but this cold feels like it's taking over my body and turning me into a vegetable. I've only had it for three days, and on day one I sat down and made a list of all the things I would need and what I was going to do with myself. It went something like this...

Things I need

1. Olbas oil
2. Honey and Lemons
3. Menthol cough sweets
4. A tub of ice cream
5. Some chocolate
6. Some cake based food
7. Various gossip magazines
8. Laze around in bed all day doing nothing/watching TV

My point is this, why do we feel the need to buy things we don't actually need when we're ill? It isn't going to make us feel any better. I don't think reading the lurid details of some celebrities sordid affair is going to clear my blocked nose. Eating a lot of cake and chocolate wont stop my head pounding. In actual fact it'll probably just make me feel sick. So why do we do it?

Simple. We want an excuse to indulge and have the things that we normally feel bad about having. The excuse, 'I don't feel very well' has got us out of numerous things, when we were children it would get us the day off school, or even just not doing P.E. It makes our partners spoil us rotten, it makes our parents feel bad and try to baby us. We love it, we crave attention. As a species we have to be the most selfish beings on the planet, any excuse to think about ourselves and treat ourselves "for a change" and we'll take it.

So instead of doing that, i'm going to do this from now on. I'm going to get up out of bed, shower and get dressed and go and get some fresh air. I'm going to give money to a homeless person, put change in a charity box, do that thing or a friend that I was going to do last week, give blood, run a marathon. Lazing around wanting people to feel sorry for us isn't how we feel better. It's going out there and doing things for the people that are worse off and helping others that make us feel good. Remember this, it could always be worse!

Lets try this thing again...

Evening all, welcome to what I hope is a much improved version of my 2007 "bbypinkprincess" blog. Yes I really called it that, but who didn't use awful cringe-worthy names at the age of 12? I don't actually know WHY I had a blog back then, considering I struggled to even describe what blogging was until I was around sixteen and got laughed at by my friend for knowing nothing about the modern world. Thankfully, I've learned a few things since then. I got myself into university and continued my full time job as a professional procrastinator, put on more weight than i'm entirely comfortable with and can say i'm reasonable content with life. I'm sure that it's obvious i've never done this before so I shall start with an introduction. I'm Kershia Janet May Linda Field, I'm 19 years old, I'm originally from Reading but moved to Derby when I was 3 or 4, I'm 5"8 (and I'm adamant that i'll get taller), I have naturally brown hair but it gets dyed whenever I get bored, I'm also a full time student at De Montfort University studying English Language and Creative Writing.

What do I want to do with my life? I want to teach children. When I was growing up I relied on my teacher so much. I saw them as role models, in some cases I considered them friends and people that I knew I could trust. When I passed all my GCSEs three years ago, My maths teacher at the time said I had made her day, that nothing brought her more joy than seeing someone who had struggled with the subject do really well. That's what I want. I want kids to look at me and say, I really like her because she helped me to get where I am today. I want to help educate the Doctors and Lawyers and Hairdressers and Builders of the future and I want to be remembered as the teacher that everyone loved. I love children, I love to watch them grow and learn and try new things and find out who they are. Nothing would make me happier than to be a part of it.

So that's me in a nutshell, I'm sure you'll learn more about me as I start to blog properly. I'm going to try and do so at least twice a week, but given my ability to procrastinate.... we'll see!