A lot of people describe love as something that can't be controlled, an invisible force that pushes two people together for no particular reason. The may call it fate or destiny. It's never questioned. Nobody ever wonders why it happens, it's just assumed that hat's the way it is and we can spend our whole lives with a person and still assume our love for them is something that we can't control. In some cases I accept that this is really true. But I think if we look at the broader meaning of love, we can question whether it really is this invisible force, or something a lot simpler.
For me, love is about appreciating what is good about another person. It's about appreciating the aspects of them that a lot of people might not see. For this reason I believe love can be a choice. You can create it. If you focus on the good in another person (yes, everyone has some good in them) then you can learn to love them. We can choose to love something unconditionally without even knowing if it is real or not. Look at faith and religion. Look at how many people devote themselves to their faith and love their Gods, through choice even if around them people are saying that they shouldn't believe because there are so many flaws in their faith. Nobody has forced that view upon them, nobody can make them believe and love something but themselves. The same thing works with people, you can choose to black out the bad in someone completely, you can devote yourself to a person even if other people are telling you that you shouldn't. You choose to love that person regardless of what everyone else says.
Take this scenario. A man and woman have been married for 10 years and the marriage isn't working out anymore, they divorce, but they remain really good friends. Do they still love each other? Their relationship might have broken down yes, but does that necessarily mean that the love stops? At the end of a marriage different things can happen, the couple can decide that they still love each other and have a mutual understanding that although they feel that way, they've chosen to end the marriage but continue to love and respect one another OR the two parties can go at each others throats and decide that they don't love or want each other in their lives anymore. OR one party can choose to love the other party regardless of the fact that it's clear the other person doesn't feel that way.
If a friend does something to annoy you, you can still choose to love them rather than fall out with them over it. If you have a fight with your parents you can choose whether you love them or not afterwards, it's not a case of 'I have to love them, they're family' rather a 'I'm choosing to forgive them and love them again because....'. Love is a choice. It's a decision you make every single day, you can choose to continue to love someone, or you can decide that you can't or don't want to love them anymore. You can choose to keep seeing past all of their flaws or not to. More often than not, the imperfections to a person is something that is missed the most. I for one know that I miss the way that he leaves his clothes on the floor or the way he would curl up and kick me out off bed by accident. I know that no invisible force makes me feel that way, but rather the way I chose to see an imperfect person in a perfect way. It works the other way too. You can choose to let someone love you or not. I know that personally I have a lot of boundaries up when it comes to letting anyone close to me, but I chose to let myself be loved by someone and I chose to let them get to know me and get close to me. I chose to let my friends know me as they chose to let me know them. All of it is a choice, love is not an emotion or a feeling, but an action and a choice.
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